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Lady of the Land
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Exercise #3 - 8/7/06 - Winter picture


This time I'm going to show you a picture (it's a thumbnail, click on it to see a larger version). Tell me what's going to happen there. emoticon

]--Log in or sign up to see linked image content--

Have fun!

(Just go ahead and post your piece in this thread.)

Last edited by Firlefanz, 8/4/2007, 7:55 am


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- Firlefanz

Reading: "Unser Kosmos" by Carl Sagan
Writing: Rewrite of the Unicorn Girl YA novel

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8/7/2006, 6:58 pm Link to this post Email Firlefanz   PM Firlefanz Blog
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Hey, wait a minute. I know that picture! I'm the one who sent it to you. emoticon
8/7/2006, 8:22 pm Link to this post Email Corvus   PM Corvus
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


I don't suppose this is the place to suggest that that is where the aliens land, though now that I think about it, some fantasy does have aliens, doesn't it? emoticon
8/7/2006, 10:42 pm Link to this post Email QS2   PM QS2
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Corvus: Yes. Can you still write a bit about it? emoticon emoticon

QS: Why not? Go right ahead and have fun.

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- Firlefanz

Reading: "Unser Kosmos" by Carl Sagan
Writing: Rewrite of the Unicorn Girl YA novel

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8/8/2006, 7:04 am Link to this post Email Firlefanz   PM Firlefanz Blog
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


----See Private Forum for Story----

Last edited by Loud G, 8/15/2006, 6:52 pm


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Writing: Eriadhin

8/15/2006, 3:44 pm Link to this post Email Loud G   PM Loud G AIM Blog
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


That's a great story, Loud G. It's a good flash fiction piece - and I know there are magazines looking for work just like this.

Very well done! emoticon

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- Firlefanz

Reading: "Lirael" by Garth Nix
Writing: Rewrite of the Unicorn Girl YA novel

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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Thanks, Firle emoticon

Really? I never thought of magazines. Or that flash stuff could be submitted anywhere.

Though looking back at all my clerical [sign in to see URL] wish runboard had a spellcheck emoticon

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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Ryan and Kiara reached the edge of the waters, the sound of the royal guards closing in around them. Kiara, the young elven lass, turned to her handsome yet human protector as if expecting the scout to have a plan.

Ryan reached under his leather jerkin and produced the scroll. Looking from it to Kiara he nodded and pushed it forward. Kiara took the scroll and understood the wordless plan and as the thought of leaving Ryan to face the guards settled in her mind, a tear started to well up in her eye. The emotions for this man had finally began to surface and she knew full well that in the guards’ custody he would be taken to the palace where he would be tortured to the point of death, only to be healed by the clerics and the process to start a new. Even the most ironed willed would give up any information simply to be allowed to die – this was Ryan’s fate and she felt the need to reciprocate the feelings he’d expressed to her before this entire ordeal began.

Opening her mouth she wanted to say the words that now lingered in her heart, but Ryan stopped her. Despite the shadows growing around them, Ryan just smiled “Kiara, don’t say it… don’t give me a reason…”

She understood and the floodgate of tears opened. But even now Ryan resisted the urge to kiss her. He simply nodded and motioned toward the lake.

Kiara turned and began to run, being the light-footed elf she was she could easily move across the, nearly frozen, water without sinking as heavy humans would. Ryan watched the graceful elf glide across the surface of the water and smiled, first taking pleasure in seeing the beautiful display of her running free and then second in knowing that the guards would not be able to follow her.

Kiara reached the other edge of the lake and turned just in time to see Ryan face the guards with weapons drawn. It was a fight even the greatest swordsman would have not hope of surviving. It was only then, that Kiara fully understood the human's concept and value of self sacrifice.

Last edited by BardNoir, 11/4/2006, 2:51 pm


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"No story that ever began 'So I was playing a Half-Elf, Chaotic-Neutral, Fighter/Thief/Mage' can ever end well." -The Bard Noir
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Sad and dark - but it's good. Well done!

  emoticon

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- Firlefanz

Reading: "The Golem's Eye" by J. Stroud
Writing: The Nine Tomes of Magic - NaNo novel

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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Thanks.
My first, public, literary review!
 emoticon


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"No story that ever began 'So I was playing a Half-Elf, Chaotic-Neutral, Fighter/Thief/Mage' can ever end well." -The Bard Noir
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


I know what is going to happen here because I have seen it a dozen times before. Even now, with the sun high in the sky and the harsh light of day illuminating the scene, I can feel the coldness coming from the water. A coldness that has nothing to do with the snow, or the wind, or the shadows of the trees. A coldness that belongs to some other world.

When the last rays of sunlight leave the lake's surface, they will come. They will be bright, they will be silent. Above all, they will be cold. They will rise from the surface but they will leave no ripples. Their flowing robes will hold no water. Their mad, headling passage through the trees will stir no branches, leave no footprints, disturb no creature.

They will race through the forest, their icy gaze fixed on a purpose only they can perceive. And before the first rays of the down they will return as they arrived. Silently and without a trace.

And then, only then, in the safe, bright day, I will creep from my hiding place. I will carve wards and warnings into the trees and rocks. I will surround the place with signs that other hunters can see. And then I will move on.

To the next lake.




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Now on line! "Out of Luck" -- issue 41 of Heroes: A Comic Book Without Pictures
1/22/2007, 12:28 pm Link to this post Email David Meadows   PM David Meadows
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06


Wow, David, this one is good. I like how you took this to extreme first person - which makes this rather intense.

Thanks!

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- Firlefanz

Reading: "Tabula Rasa", SF Anthology
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06 - Winter picture


Finally got the third exercise done! I'm having trouble with these short works. I hate writing beginnings and [sign in to see URL] that's all these stories are! It's great practice though.

Also, this one is hard because I've been reading a heavily winter themed fantasy series (Song of Fire and Ice) and I wanted to avoid any 'fan fiction' whether intended or not! I finally just had to stop thinking about what COULDN'T have happened here (since it happened in the books I'm reading) and let something develop.

And finally, all my stories seem to have the same plot/style. Scene description. Something unusual. Things work out. I need to really branch out. Again, I guess this just comes with practice.

Ok, without further ado:

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The boat dipped and swayed in the tiny waves the wind blew from the lake into the slough. The rope tying the vessel to the snow-covered tree creaked and stretched as the boat bobbed around. It was the only sound in the cold air until a crunching of snow told of intruder on the still scene. Another crunch, another step, and slowly a shape slid around the trunk of a tree. She was not much taller than the boy in the boat, who stared wide-eyed in her direction. Her broad shoulders forced her to turn slightly sideways as she shimmed between the trees and came closer. Her furs, which were frosted in a light dusting of snow, shimmered this way and that as the light gusts of wind played through the forest. The boy could not move, could not call out to his mother who was hopefully returning soon. He simply stared at the relic in front of him, not able to believe his own eyes. If the creature attacked him, he was sure he wouldn’t survive a single blow from the maul that must have been hanging from her back. The wizened old face, with eyes sparkling in a mischievous manner, snapped toward a distant spot above the boy’s shoulder. He turned but saw and heard nothing. By the time he looked back, she was gone. The knot in his stomach began to untwist and just as he was starting to breathe again, his mother called out from behind me.

“Serton! Pull the boat to the shore, it’s time to go. I’m freezing!” she called, brushing an accumulation of snow from her coat.

Serton nearly pitched forward in the boat but managed to regain his balance. His mouth open and closed like a gasping fish and his head swung back and forth between his mother and the now empty gap between the trees. Finally he managed, “Mother…I saw…”

“What’s the matter? Come on, let’s get moving. I have the meat Jervis promised and I’d like to get dinner started before your father comes home,” she said.

He pulled the rope to bring the boat to the shore and his mother climbed in and looked at him expectantly. “Well?” Befuddled, he finally grabbed the oars and tried to steer out of the protected waterway they had sheltered in. “What is wrong with you?” his mother demanded after the third time he stuck an oar in the muck beneath the water’s surface.

“Mother. I thought you said there was no such thing as grunlacks,” he said in a hushed voice, his eyes darting around the darkening woods surrounding them.

“Of course there aren’t, my little one. Those are just stories to scare wee babes into staying close to their mothers. We don’t live in a fairy tale!” she smiled at him but the expression faded and she watched his nervous glances. “What are you on about?” He leaned forward, lowered his voice more and described the creature he had glimpsed.

A snort of laughter rang loud through the woods and blackbirds squawked and took flight from nearby trees. “Oh dear,” his mother gasped once she took her hand away from her mouth. “Serton. Have you never seen Jervis’ mother? She is shrunken with age and drags her creaky bones around these woods during all kinds of weather.” She stifled another giggle. “There is nothing to be afraid of. Let’s get home!”
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5/7/2012, 6:51 pm Link to this post Email TexasMadness   PM TexasMadness
 
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06 - Winter picture


Well it isn't unusual for stories to be based on previous known ideas with a sprinling of new ideas inbetween. Not to mention a lot of the old ideas aren't necessarily bad at all.

In the end what matters most as such is how well you can integrate the ideas together to make your own story.
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Re: Exercise #3 - 8/7/06 - Winter picture


TM, that's a fun little tale. And don't worry about having a pattern to write to. You are writing, and that makes all the difference.

This is well told, with nice suspense building, and a fun resolution at the end. You just had me a tad confused because I didn't know the boy was actually in the boat, I thought it had been tied up and left.

Even so, well done! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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