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OMG process! Today's editing session brought me to a place where James is talking with Terry, and he is calling her by her first name. This scene is way before she has permitted him to do that and would have been an insult in her mind! emoticon

I'll plead ignorance as to how I did that. Martian culture was still a vague concept at that stage of my story. I would never make such a faux pax knowing what I know now.

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(And I got hit with the 5-second rule here... woah.)

Love that you're fixing a really bad error here. Well done!
And that's simply the result of growing your world as you go. Not a biggie, especially since you caught it.

 emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Necessary process. This scene in my story showed me a story is never correctly written the first time. I didn't make a grammar or punctuation mistake. Grammarly helps me catch those. The error was a "world-view." mistake that computer programs can never see. I was fortunate Hemingway highlighted the section as "hard to read." It focused my attention on the details I was glossing over in my reading. emoticon

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Those are the hardest to catch. Glad you had some help.

I know I'd like to go back and clarify a few things in "Dorelle's Journey" now that I'm discovering much more of that world, but well... it's out there. I'll live with that.

After all, the Pern world developed in massive ways, and the beginning of "Dragonflight" as classic fantasy tale, with F'lar wearing a sword, certainly jars with the later development of the world.

If it's okay for Anne McCaffrey, it can be okay for my little world...

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detail oriented thing...

I discovered Leonard using the name of a survivor he rescued before he knew who the person was! How did I miss that when writing the story the first time? emoticon

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But you knew the name already!

 emoticon

That's how it happens.

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Wowser! This morning I discovered a sentence that was 127 words in length! The commas were ideally placed to prevent Grammarly from flagging the monster as a mistake Even Hemingway just said the snake was "hard to read" but said nothing about the sentence length!

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I'm awestruck. emoticon

(Run-on sentences are a German prerogative.)

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Weirdness!

Today I cleaned up a scene in the "crisis event" and added some dialogue to change info dumping into action sequencing. It reads better as the characters work to solve a problem instead of the reader watching from "off stage."

I thought [sign in to see URL] would like that but the overall score went down (from [sign in to see URL] to [sign in to see URL]). It isn't much of a drop, but I confess I was disappointed.

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*hugs*

Sorry the score dropped. But if it reads better to you, then it is better.

 emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Odd thing.

I am almost at 25% in my first round of editing (24.1%). I have eliminated over 800 "filler words" and killed so many "passive voice" statements I lost count. I have reworked paragraphs and shortened sentences. I have caught scenes that were mixed up terribly and corrected them.

Despite doing all of the above, I find my story has grown by roughly 500 words. I thought it would be shrinking so I was surprised to see that happen.

[sign in to see URL] gave me a score of [sign in to see URL] at the start and has now placed my rating at [sign in to see URL]. Hemingway says my readability in the edited sections has improved by 23.8 percent.

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I'm familiar with editing actually adding words. Usually - for me - that's because I clarify sentences, and that often takes a few more words because I need to put in what I really wanted to say...

The most difficult thing for me to do is to edit in order to bring a short story down to maximum word count...

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...Hard thing to do!

Over the past few days, I have waged war on "filler words" in my "first draft." Along the way, I have also cleaned up dialogue and even added a new minor character to the mix to create a smoother transition in one of the "crisis events."

The results are better pacing and a significant improvement in readability yet Autocrit still tells me my "overall score" remains the same as it was when I started.

I know, it's just a program, but I was using it to help motivate me in the editing process. As a motivator, it failed.

Thank goodness I have people instead of programs that are cheering me on. emoticon

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aha ha, moment!

The word length of a paragraph matters. As an experiment, I cut one of my longer paragraphs into two separate sections without changing any of the wording.

With no change, autocrit gave me a score of [sign in to see URL], but with the change, it gave me a rating of 88.3! True, the difference was a mere one-hundredth of one percent, but it taught me a lesson. I need to watch not just my words but also the way I break the story down into paragraphs.

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Awesome!

Yes, paragraphs are very, very important. They structure a scene as well as dialogue.

Well done! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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O Boy!

Today I reached the first major "culture scene" in my novel. This part is going to be difficult.

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Good luck! emoticon

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"say what" process!

I finished cleaning up the "culture scene" and moved on to the "shower scene" between Leonard and Julianne this morning. The latter was difficult. I wanted to write the image of the couple washing each other and had to fight myself over it. Staying away from the explicit mental pictures and giving the reader the emotional feelings of the couple instead. So to keep the reader from dwelling on the physical, I removed all references to the couples touching their partner's erogenous zones.

Last edited by Pastor Rick, 1/9/2018, 3:18 pm


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I thought about this some more, after reading your explanation on FB.

I believe - but this might just be my romantic notions - that a couple in love who had gone through the heartwrenching experience of believing the other one dead would reaffirm that love by having sex, sooner than later. So maybe you could hint at that at the end of the shower scene.

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You read ahead, didn't you? emoticon

The scene is about two-three hours before the transit bubbles collapse. The people on the spaceship do not know what will happen to them when it does, but Julianne is an optimist who says she wants to create some "loving magic" after the event.

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No, I didn't. emoticon But sometimes, I can read minds, and I AM a therapist. emoticon

I think I like Julianne. emoticon

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I forgot to mark my place and ended up doing a re-edit of three paragraphs before going to work this morning.

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But you worked on your story. emoticon

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True, and I do like the way it reads now better than I did before. This morning before work I reached Chapter 12 in my first round edits. Leonard has taken command of PLS Exodus.
 emoticon

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Well done! emoticon

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chore...

Not in a wrong way. I don't dread the process. I fuss over the time limits my schedule allows which makes progress seem to crawl. This morning I made changes in the "post transit," scene and asked autocrit what it thought. The program told me my score was better by one-hundredth of one percent. So far I have eliminated 818 unnecessary "filler words," improved my "pacing" by four-hundredths of a percent, and split 99 "running sentences" into something just a shade bit easier to read. My autocrit score is currently: [sign in to see URL] for a score improvement of +.37 since I started first round edits.

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Goodness, that autocrit is really critical!

Are you still breaking up paragraphs? And please, remember this is progress, even if autocrit thinks it's minuscule. You're making your story better.

 emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

I went and edited about a third of my "Writer's Block" book. It's basically blog posts turned into a book, and I need to add a few intro chapters. I probably also need to add a description of how to do EFT, since I expect people to use it.

It still is very short. But I need it done and up and selling so I can prove my expert status. Because I want to be the Mindset Mentor for Authors. emoticon

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ongoing event...

I am in the middle of the "command crisis" scene and have changed the dialogue several times. The Hemingway editor agreed with me on the last changes I made to clarify the scene while keeping my story pace intact. emoticon

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Sounds good.

But don't let your writing be dominated by machines. emoticon

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I'm not letting my software assistants run the show but they do help by highlighting things that appear odd. Here is a funny.

Yesterday Hemingway and Grammarly told me two out of three sentences had problems. They were both wrong, the problem was in the sentence they both said was okay because in it I had three people going to the same duty station! emoticon

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